My husband and I met through the Yahoo! Personals ads nearly 25 years ago. And my first online date was 40 years ago with someone I met on a bulletin board system (BBS) which I connected to using a modem.
Back then there were real people on the other side, but people still had to be cautious. I always met the guys in a public place and never gave out my home address. I also didn’t give them any money, except for one guy who I leant money to pay his utility bill but I kept his guitar in exchange. (I finally donated the guitar to Goodwill a few years back.)
Online dating and social apps have made it easier than ever to meet new people. Unfortunately, they’ve also made it easier for scammers to take advantage of people who are genuinely looking for love. Romance scams are one of the fastest-growing forms of online fraud, and they can cost victims not only their money, but also their trust.
A romance scam usually starts with someone reaching out through a dating site, social media, or even email. The person often seems charming, attentive, and too good to be true. And that’s the first red flag: if someone showers you with attention almost immediately, calling you “the one” before you’ve even met, be cautious.
Scammers often claim to live far away or to be working overseas, which is why they “can’t meet in person.” Military deployment, overseas business trips, or sudden family emergencies are common stories. Once trust is built, requests for money begin. It might start small—help with travel costs, medical bills, or even a “temporary” financial problem. Over time, the requests grow larger, and the scammer keeps making excuses to avoid ever meeting face-to-face.
So what should you watch out for?
- Love bombing: Over-the-top affection right away.
- Excuses not to meet: They’re always “too far away.”
- Money requests: Any request for financial help is a major warning sign.
- Inconsistencies: Their stories, photos, or timelines don’t quite match up.
If something feels off, trust your instincts. Never send money to someone you haven’t met in person, and be cautious about sharing personal details too quickly.
Assume every contact made to you is a scammer. Over 1 BILLION DOLLARS is lost every year in romance scams so there is a very real incentive for scammers to use this method.
Real love develops over time and is built on trust and honesty—not pressure, secrets, or financial demands. Protect your heart, and your wallet will thank you too.
